2006_01_01_archive

Q: What does America not want to see for Christmas?

A: Two men kissing.

Here's the poop: I have been doing a contract for a major Hollywood

research group. The name will go unmentioned to protect the innocent,

namely me. One of the benefits of the gig is that that I get to see a

lot of numbers about movies--total gross, weekend gross, how many

theatres showed a movie, what day of the week the movie was released

on, etc...

Anyway, it turns out that a certain cinematic love story featuring two

cowboys supposedly grossed 3 million dollars during its first week

out. This might seem like a lot of money. But given that it took

around fifteen million bucks to make, the success of this film does

not bode well.

Now according to all reports, it's a good movie, worthy of the price

of admission. But you'd think that the guys who distribute this film

were out skiing in Aspen during the part of business school where they

talk about optimal release time. Jeepers wanna release a hit at

Christmas time? Release a movie with a talking lion, a movie about a

family with 18 kids, a film about retribution in the Middle East, or a

film about an oversized ape. America can live with blood, murder and

talking or oversized animals. But a film with two guys rolling around

in a sleeping bag during CHRISTMAS WEEK, what were these guys thinking

about?

Now, if it were a story about two women rolling around in a sleeping